Each week I’m going to try and do this column. This will be just some random observations that I noticed during the current week of the glorious 2018 NFL football season. There will be 6 observations and an extra point. So you’re essentially getting a touchdown’s worth of football hot takes from me. Enjoy.
Normally I try to get these out on Sunday nights but I didn’t show up to work so I’m pretty much just like the Giants offense. Anyway, here’s everything you need to know about week 4 in seven well thought out thoughts.
1. Earl Thomas just proved Le’veon Bell and all of the other “bad teammates” right
Kids! Shield your eyes!
So in case you live under a rock, you know that Earl Thomas broke his leg this weekend before he got his contract that he deserved which absolutely sucks for him. It’s easy for me to sit here and say “oh if that was me I would act differently” but the fact of the matter is that I’ve never been in a situation that’s literally cost me millions upon millions of dollars. It absolutely sucks for Thomas because he was a great player for the Seahawks for a long time. The Legion of Boom is officially dead.
Le’veon Bell is well within his rights to hold out until he gets a deal. There are some obvious reasons why Bell hasn’t gotten paid but here are the main two:
1. His age. He’ll be 27 by the time he new deal kicks in which for a running back is old. Once most running backs hit 30 their best years are far behind them.
2. The Steelers are one of the most fiscally conservative organizations in the NFL. They simply don’t give out guaranteed money in a player’s salary. They do things like roster bonuses to get players their guaranteed money. This obviously means that if Bell were to have a career ending injury that it would cost him guaranteed money in a long term deal with the Steelers.
2. Speaking of Le’veon Bell, why haven’t the Steelers traded him yet?
Yes, we’ve talked about Le’veon Bell quite a bit already in this article but seriously, why haven’t the Steelers traded him yet? There’s little to no chance that he signs long term there. He’s not getting any younger. Why not trade him?
The Steelers have said that they want a 2nd round pick and “a good player” for Bell. Well that price is likely too high. So take either a 1st round pick or a 2nd + 3rd round pick for Bell and get rebuilding your roster because spoiler alert: Your team sucks.
It’s clear that this isn’t the same Steelers team of old and there’s an insane amount of dysfunction on that roster and in that locker room. Big Ben is on the back-nine. The head coach is basically just a cheerleader. The team needs new blood. You can’t mix old with new. It just doesn’t work (cc: Giants).
3. The Miami Dolphins are dead and I think that I deserve some credit for their demise
Last week I said that the Dolphins had a zero percent chance to make the playoffs. (Read my week 3 blog here). Well as it turns out, I was 100% correct. This team is total garbage and they got absolutely manhandled by a Patriots team that is way better than them.
There were moments in that game where they didn’t even look like an NFL team let alone a playoff team.
Congrats, your season is over.
4. I’m shifting all of my “The Dolphins are frauds” conjecture to the Titans who are also frauds
Speaking of frauds, how the hell are the Tennessee Titans 3-1? This is the worst 3-1 team in the history of football not named the 2018 Miami Dolphins. I’ll give them credit for having a gutsy win against the Super Bowl champs but this team is still so boring and not good.
I still can’t see this team making the playoffs. It’s not quite zero percent like Miami but it’s less than 10%.
5. This iteration “Fitzmagic” is dead and I hope we have at least one more cycle before he retires
RIP Fitzmagic 5.0: September 9th, 2018-September 30th, 2018
You gave us so many memories:
I had never been more intimidated by an NFL player than at that very moment. The Week 2 press conference was the very height of this breakout of Fitzmagic. I personally love Fitzmagic because sometimes it only lasts a game and other times it lasts for an entire season. We just never know when the fun will end so it forces you to live in the moment and that’s what makes life truly beautiful. The cycle is one that never fails to amaze me:
- Team’s starter gets suspended/injured/benched
- People say things like, “oh great, now we’ve gotta start Ryan Fitzpatrick”
- Ryan Fitzpatrick performs well and there’s a quarterback controversy
- In layman’s terms, this is peak ‘Fitzmagic’
- Fitzmagic ultimately fades away and he gets replaced
- An NFL GM overpays and/or signs Ryan Fitzpatrick and the process starts again
It’s a truly beautiful process. Here’s to hoping we get an encore of Fitzmagic someday before he retires.
6. Thoughts and prayers to Sam Bradford who is going to be losing $312,500/game in an active roster bonus now that he’s 3rd string
You may want to sit down for this. If you’re reading this (even if you’re not reading this), it means that Sam Bradford lost $312,500 because he wasn’t active for the Cardinals game against the Seahawks this week. I don’t know how he’s going to support his family.
Yes, I know he’s had more career earnings than guys like Tony Romo and Michael Vick and he’s only a few million short of Brett Favre but that’s a serious financial loss for him. I just hope he’s not on the street asking for money in a few weeks.
Extra Point: I legitimately think I’m going to die of a heart attack watching Giants football one day
Listen, I know that the Giants haven’t had it historically as bad as a lot of other teams. I know that many fans of the Browns and the Lions would sacrifice their firstborn child just to win a playoff game but damn it’s been a miserable 7 years for Giants fans.
Between replacing a living legend in Tom Coughlin with Ben McAdoo to having Eli Manning get benched in favor of Geno Smith to multiple top 10 draft busts (looking at you Ereck Flowers and Eli Apple), it’s been hell.
Yes I know we’ve been to the playoffs once in the last 7 years which is more than some teams can say but it was ruined after our wide receivers decided to take a boat trip that distracted the entire team from getting ready for the game.
It’s been a miserable 7 years. It’s probably not going to get better any time soon. I’m going to have a heart attack during one of these games and it’s gonna kill me.